
Old Berkhamstedians - League (A)
Have you heard the murmurings? the rumours? the whispers? Can this be true….
The LOBs began the day having suffered 8, very unlucky and hard-fought, league defeats in a row. You might think that would put pressure on Captain, Leader, Legend Frankie Tudball, but as we know, pressure is for Tyres and Frankie, is not a tyre. No, Frankie is a man. A little man, but a great man, and a man with very large nuts.
To my and everyone in the vicinity of Tolworth’s surprise, it was all LOBs for the first 30 minutes. If I were to guess the possession stats, they would read 70% LOBs, with the ball stuck in the Berkhamsted half. Shots were cleared off the line and an open goal was missed (not saying who by, but it was Frankie). Buoyed by the strong start, one too many touches at the back saw the Berkhamsted striker pick pocket the LOBs defence to break through a score. 1-0 Berkhamsted.
The LOBs we unperturbed by this set back and continued to pile on pressure. The Tudball-Press was in full flow, with the LOBs front three working hard to put pressure on the Berkhamsted back four. Steven Crosby also helped by occasionally shouting “press” and “run Baino” as his stood on the halfway line twiddling his thumbs. The Berkhamsted defence would eventually break with the LOBs equalising following a mix up at the back. Half time, 1-1.
The Second half started with chances for both teams. Will Honey-Church left his regular migraine at home as he danced the Honkytonk down the left wing. Left foot. Right foot. Is he going inside. Is he going outside. He doesn’t know and their right back certainly didn’t know either. As it happened, their right back was quite an angry little man, he said I had a big nose. Wasn’t very nice. Talk about picking the low hanging fruit, that one’s a thinker.
The game was tight and was crying out for a moment of quality. Cue Baino. Magnus slipped in a ball behind to leave Baino one-on-one with the keeper as he outrageously lobbed the keeper to make it 2-1. Demi Abiru and George Hockey, make no mistake, there is a new number 9 in town and my word is he good, and handsome.
As the game moved into the latter stages the LOBs defence held firm. Ryan Wood was immense. Robust, assured, with class and charisma dripping off him, like Virgil Van Dijk, if he had a PhD in Theoretical Particle Physics. Beside Ryan was his Mini Me, Tom Hall who was equally immense at the back. Just think Tom, in 15 years’ time, if you’re lucky, you could be Ryan Wood, probably without the PhD in Theoretical Particle Physics though.
Berkhamsted continued to pile on the pressure with crosses and long-range shots. Each time, Luke Davies said, “not today lads- you ain’t getting past me, nah-uh”. Luke caught and cradled the ball like James Tudball would catch and cradle Frankie, before launching it down the field (I am not aware of James doing that to Frankie).
Will Brook and Will Crowther battled hard in midfield and in defence, a great sign for two lads at the start of their LOBs careers. At the other end of their LOBs career, Steven Crosby, ensured he was well hydrated as he stood on the bench twiddling his thumbs. (Disco was actually very good, although he did do something very muggy but I just can’t quite remember it).
A herculean effort from the LOBs saw the game finish 2-1 and mark the first win of the season.
I’ve heard the murmurings, you’ve heard the rumours, the whole of Southwest London knows what’s happening… the LOBs are back and that is not good news for the rest of the Arthurian League.
Baino












